Thursday, May 15, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Changes...
since the day he shouted at me, i noticed changes in him.
perhaps, it might be the problem in me. everytime when he start to talk louder, the picture of that day will dash across my mind. i dunno why, but i'm afraid. i dunnno what i'm afraid of, but i'm juz feel that, he started to change. attitude.
I prefer the old him. i understand that, there are things that u can start all over again, but there are also things that no matter how hard u work to compensate it, it juz couldn't work.
juz now, i hugged him. he told me to greet his mom for mother's day. so i told him that my phone cannot type chinese word and he say juz a few english words his mom can still understand. but i dun have his mom's phone number. so i juz use his phone to type, in english. He asked why do i wanna use english seems i'm using his phone to send. I should've used chinese. Isn't it the same thing? I mean, if u say that ur mom can understand a few english word, what's the big deal if i use the phone to send the message in english? He said that i'm stupid and started to be impatient.
He's no longer tolerating and patient. Does it mean that, something has changed? Yea, perhaps...
I love You, my Leong Leong Moi... but not the recent one. Not the matter of tolerating your "new attitude", but, i'm afraid something would change permanently, once you'd adapted to it.
I'm not angry cuz u didn't apologize, i'm not crying cuz u made me angry...
but i'm sad cuz u'd somehow changed.
If you'd changed, who else can i talk to? if we'd changed, will the great and immortal memories keep our distance away?
I can't afford to lose you as a person i love.
However, it's more difficult for me to believe and accept that changes will do us apart.
I told myself that i should let go, so that we can at least remain friends.
But can I? Can i really turn myself away from you?
We'll both change, perhaps I should've expected it.
perhaps, it might be the problem in me. everytime when he start to talk louder, the picture of that day will dash across my mind. i dunno why, but i'm afraid. i dunnno what i'm afraid of, but i'm juz feel that, he started to change. attitude.
I prefer the old him. i understand that, there are things that u can start all over again, but there are also things that no matter how hard u work to compensate it, it juz couldn't work.
juz now, i hugged him. he told me to greet his mom for mother's day. so i told him that my phone cannot type chinese word and he say juz a few english words his mom can still understand. but i dun have his mom's phone number. so i juz use his phone to type, in english. He asked why do i wanna use english seems i'm using his phone to send. I should've used chinese. Isn't it the same thing? I mean, if u say that ur mom can understand a few english word, what's the big deal if i use the phone to send the message in english? He said that i'm stupid and started to be impatient.
He's no longer tolerating and patient. Does it mean that, something has changed? Yea, perhaps...
I love You, my Leong Leong Moi... but not the recent one. Not the matter of tolerating your "new attitude", but, i'm afraid something would change permanently, once you'd adapted to it.
I'm not angry cuz u didn't apologize, i'm not crying cuz u made me angry...
but i'm sad cuz u'd somehow changed.
If you'd changed, who else can i talk to? if we'd changed, will the great and immortal memories keep our distance away?
I can't afford to lose you as a person i love.
However, it's more difficult for me to believe and accept that changes will do us apart.
I told myself that i should let go, so that we can at least remain friends.
But can I? Can i really turn myself away from you?
We'll both change, perhaps I should've expected it.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
2May'08
It wasn't a happy day. :(
i woke up very early in the morning to get to 8am's class. (for me it's very early)
Ms. Vilmah let us see our assignment marks n, praise the lord, I get 13/20... (my frens get 9/20..). i was happy in fact, but then, some people who couldn't get a higher was a bit jealous i guess.
As these 2 weeks are revision weeks, so, what i'm trying to say is, revision= revising the thgs that u know, rite? i juz couldn't understand, even if u can't read the lecturer's handwriting, for god's sake u would've know what's the particular section is about, isn't it? But there's juz somebody, the somebody, that couldn't at least use some common sense to figure out what's the word. Well, being too busy-body, I generously tell the "somebody" what's the word and what's the section about.
Consequently, i was criticized to be a person who knows the lecturer's mind.... and..."oh.. no wonder you are able to get a high mark for your assignment lar... cuz u can read the lecturer's mind and know the question.. we can't read the lecturer's mind and don't have the question, that's why we couldn't get high mark...."
Duh~~~ excuse me, do u even know what the craps are you talking about?!!?? the assignment question is the same for all the students, what do u mean by i can read the lecturer mind and know what's the question she wants? so stupid.. if I'm the only one who knows the question, then, where the hell is your 9 marks come from?? isn't it funny? how many assignments have u done in these 1 1/2 year and until now you still can't figure out how to score well? let me tell you, it's not by doing it 1 day before you hafta pass it up and doing it without referring to articles, OK?
Come on, wake up, fren~~(fren???) stop sleeping in the class and waste your papers by drawing out your dreams on it.... stop complaining that the small lil' table can't let you sleep well... do you even know where's the place to sleep? it's your room and bed, not the classroom and the table..
Stop calling me "gan si dui" (dare to die) juz because i'm hardworking and attend more tutorials than you guys.. who's the one who dares to die, you should know it clearly deep inside your heart, isn't it?? well, i don't blame you, cuz i know that, instead of telling what they're thinking inside their hearts, girls always tell the different story.. Nvm, it's ok... i understand.. juz that i don't like it when you talks about me.. i don't like my name being mentioned by YOU!!!!!
Oh yea, tell you what... My EQ is not as high as u expect it to be, so you better watch out for the words that come out from your god xxxx mouth.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
at home, i quarrelled with him. this is the 1st time he was so angry... never see him so so so angry but i know what had made him so mad. I'm the stupid person that speaks of stupid words that made him so hurt!!!!!! He was sad, i knew it. i shouldn't be so mean... i shouldn't use those words. when he shouted at me, i see ain't the anger, but the sorrow that he had deep inside his little hearts that cares for me a lot.
I'm so so so sorry, dear...I'm really sorry.
He told me that, every time when i scold him, the thing that appears in his mind is--- luckily she's not my wife. or i'll hafta tolerate her bad temper for the rest of my life. (I was hurt, when i heard him say so). Last time, he told me that, when i get angry, he will be afraid that what will others think about me rather than feeling that i embarrasses him.. He don't wan them to think that his girlfriend is very fierce.
He'd warned me as well, that i shouldn't continue to behave this way cuz... yea... i know why...:(
i wrote him a letter... quite long..but he din read it until i woke up..
he came to hug me, and the hug reliefs my fear for losing him...
Thanks dear, for tolerating so much, for loving me so much.
He said :"it was my fault for couldn't stand my bad temper I've chosen you, so i should tolerate with you, accept you for the way you are."
(it was actually my fault for making you sad. Please don't blame it on yourself.)
I love you, dear.. though i didn't mean to hurt you, i shouldn't hv hurt you.
P/S: Words are very powerful. The words you speak can affect the life of another individual. Choose the words and think it twice before you spell it out.
It wasn't a happy day. :(
i woke up very early in the morning to get to 8am's class. (for me it's very early)
Ms. Vilmah let us see our assignment marks n, praise the lord, I get 13/20... (my frens get 9/20..). i was happy in fact, but then, some people who couldn't get a higher was a bit jealous i guess.
As these 2 weeks are revision weeks, so, what i'm trying to say is, revision= revising the thgs that u know, rite? i juz couldn't understand, even if u can't read the lecturer's handwriting, for god's sake u would've know what's the particular section is about, isn't it? But there's juz somebody, the somebody, that couldn't at least use some common sense to figure out what's the word. Well, being too busy-body, I generously tell the "somebody" what's the word and what's the section about.
Consequently, i was criticized to be a person who knows the lecturer's mind.... and..."oh.. no wonder you are able to get a high mark for your assignment lar... cuz u can read the lecturer's mind and know the question.. we can't read the lecturer's mind and don't have the question, that's why we couldn't get high mark...."
Duh~~~ excuse me, do u even know what the craps are you talking about?!!?? the assignment question is the same for all the students, what do u mean by i can read the lecturer mind and know what's the question she wants? so stupid.. if I'm the only one who knows the question, then, where the hell is your 9 marks come from?? isn't it funny? how many assignments have u done in these 1 1/2 year and until now you still can't figure out how to score well? let me tell you, it's not by doing it 1 day before you hafta pass it up and doing it without referring to articles, OK?
Come on, wake up, fren~~(fren???) stop sleeping in the class and waste your papers by drawing out your dreams on it.... stop complaining that the small lil' table can't let you sleep well... do you even know where's the place to sleep? it's your room and bed, not the classroom and the table..
Stop calling me "gan si dui" (dare to die) juz because i'm hardworking and attend more tutorials than you guys.. who's the one who dares to die, you should know it clearly deep inside your heart, isn't it?? well, i don't blame you, cuz i know that, instead of telling what they're thinking inside their hearts, girls always tell the different story.. Nvm, it's ok... i understand.. juz that i don't like it when you talks about me.. i don't like my name being mentioned by YOU!!!!!
Oh yea, tell you what... My EQ is not as high as u expect it to be, so you better watch out for the words that come out from your god xxxx mouth.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
at home, i quarrelled with him. this is the 1st time he was so angry... never see him so so so angry but i know what had made him so mad. I'm the stupid person that speaks of stupid words that made him so hurt!!!!!! He was sad, i knew it. i shouldn't be so mean... i shouldn't use those words. when he shouted at me, i see ain't the anger, but the sorrow that he had deep inside his little hearts that cares for me a lot.
I'm so so so sorry, dear...I'm really sorry.
He told me that, every time when i scold him, the thing that appears in his mind is--- luckily she's not my wife. or i'll hafta tolerate her bad temper for the rest of my life. (I was hurt, when i heard him say so). Last time, he told me that, when i get angry, he will be afraid that what will others think about me rather than feeling that i embarrasses him.. He don't wan them to think that his girlfriend is very fierce.
He'd warned me as well, that i shouldn't continue to behave this way cuz... yea... i know why...:(
i wrote him a letter... quite long..but he din read it until i woke up..
he came to hug me, and the hug reliefs my fear for losing him...
Thanks dear, for tolerating so much, for loving me so much.
He said :"it was my fault for couldn't stand my bad temper I've chosen you, so i should tolerate with you, accept you for the way you are."
(it was actually my fault for making you sad. Please don't blame it on yourself.)
I love you, dear.. though i didn't mean to hurt you, i shouldn't hv hurt you.
P/S: Words are very powerful. The words you speak can affect the life of another individual. Choose the words and think it twice before you spell it out.
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