被期待,被珍惜,被疼爱;很幸福

For me,
he used great effort to get a car
For me,
he moved back to the master bedroom.
My return is being welcomed,
with great anticipation.
For me,
he wished to sing me a song,
in front of many,
a song named
"The Man Who Can't Be Moved".
My Baby loves me.

For he so loves me,
he insisted not to show others
his AJ 23
even if he'd took the box out.
He wants me to be the first person
to see
his AJ 23




For me,
my bro wants to earn money
to bring me visit the Europe.
My Bro loves me.
For me,
my bro dun force me to work.

What more I can say?
I'm being valued,
I'm being loved,
I'm so blissful.
:)

Actz moved to master bedroom today.
he wrote on his msn pm :
new room, new hopes, new life, new JORDANS??, SAME you...
---------- :) sweet~~~

things he said before:
1. you're very important in my life.
2. wish that u're here wif me now.
3. i'm hungry...need to hear ur voice.
hehehe... love u , baby.. muackz

chat with Actz through skype, and there was something interesting about the 'youcam'. he made many funny faces.. hehehee.. so cute.. miss the time we make funny faces together, laugh together... "如花".. AHAHAHaha...
baby, i miss you. wish to hug u, kiss u, smell your sideburns, lie on your chest...
these are my happiness... :)
he's gonna work tmr, telephone interview...pray that he'll be able to complete many sets of questionnaires.
Love you, my baby...

When i humbly come before Him
handed all my burdens and worries
unto His mighty hand
the Lord that never fails me
has once again prove to me
He is there
listening to my prayers


-My jurisprudence coursework has been released. when i received the email, i was very scare. my hands, my feet, my body, i felt very cold suddenly. my heart could hardly breath. I was dreadfully scare, cuz i was afraid that i'll fail it.

I then prayed to the Lord, and i listened to hillsongs.
"Great is the Lord on high... Lift up your hands, open your heart, let the King of Glory come in"
I once again thought of the time when i really bowed down and cried out in tears, asking for God's help. He then blessed me, abundantly.
So, i knelled and close my eyes, following the flow of the song, i lifted my hands, and pray. Astonishing peace falls upon me. I was at peace.

-when i arrived uni, i saw Eilaine, and she told me most of the people failed. I was a bit worry, but i remind myself not to be.

-I passed it, with 48 marks - 3rd class. but there are a few ticks on the 2(2) class. at least, it's the upper range of 3rd class.. thank you Lord.

Amen.

家

我在弄食物时,

英国春天的大太阳,

猛猛地照进厨房,
加上吵杂的维修声,
忽然,
我有一种感慨....

我想吃炸香蕉,
在那停点的下午,
和妹妹一起吃热腾腾的炸香蕉...

我想吃猪肉包,
在那炎日的下午,
你带我去买来吃的猪肉包和叉烧饼...

我想吃天鹅的咖哩角,
在家开着冷气,
和外婆妈妈弟弟妹妹OLA,
一起坐在饭桌分享着不同的糕饼...

我想吃生肉面,
星期天做完礼拜,
和爸爸妈妈弟弟妹妹和你,
一起到风玲斗湖生肉面吃....

想喝Ice World的蜂蜜红茶+珍珠,
也想喝凉茶铺的红豆沙，
因为你常会买给我喝．．．

想要吃马来档的鸡翅膀，
因为每次A-Level Tutorial 过后
你都会带我去买，
然后我们到公圆那里，
在车里偷偷的吃．．．
怕我妈妈发现，
又要说我吃太多．．．

想念你晚上到我家一起做功课，
都会带点你晚餐特地留起来
要和我分享的食物，
被我妈妈发现时，
你会说是你要吃的
你总是会护着我


我一直以为,
我不喜欢马来西亚的热带雨淋....
我以为
我讨厌那把我皮肤晒黑的大太阳....
我以为
我讨厌那常常停点的斗湖...


原来，
我会怀念
那些我认为我不喜欢的
事和物

家
不管你到那里
心里总是会惦记着

如果能再重来

我无法坦然面对
就不断地逃避
内心无法释然的罪恶感
象刀一样
不断刺进心
痛得很难呼吸
原来
是这么难受

我知道
这是无法弥补的错
我只想
不让这错
造成任何伤害
独自承受
或许是惩罚自己
最好的方式


如果能再重来....


遗憾的是
有些事
真的不能重来

Dior Addicted.

White Dior Crystal 33mm 182 Diamonds
£4750

White Lambskin and Gold Mirror Finish Leather Sport Shoes
£280

Black Patent Leather Pump 11cm
£360

LE30 Bag in Black Leather with Pony-Finish Details
£1390

4 March 2009

-he said to Landlord : " 我女朋友一直很想来这个夜市" - the cheras pasar malam
-he said that, he was thinking, if i were there, for sure, we would have walked around the whole pasar malam, and i would have bought many things to eat"

that was very sweet, and i was very touched. I am happy, not because he'd got a car and finally know how to get there, but it was because i dun really expect him to say like that to others, and it's sweet, when he has me in his imagination....

我幸福吗?
我很幸福....

拥抱

放空了自己
眼泪不自觉地流了
没有很多

我不开心
我很不开心.
我很难过.
却哭不出来.
不晓得为什么.

心里很不踏实
太多的情绪
压抑着没得发泄
不断说服自己

但我真的还没学精


现在
复杂的眼泪
流不停
连我自己都搞不懂的情绪
头很疼
心很累


我很想你能出现
紧紧地把我抱着
至少
我能肯定
你在,
什么都不是大问题.


太久都没感觉
你那真实的拥抱
那能给我力量的拥抱
我想自私地
永远占为己有....

I am Learning.

was reading the book of Exodus, which talks about the Lord asked Moses to bring the Israelite out of Egypt. Miracles and wonders were shown, before Moses and Aaron were able to bring the Israelite out of Egypt and to the promised land, a good and spacious land flowing with milk and honey.

God has sent Moses and Aaron to do such a great task. God appointed them. However, they did not success on one go. 10 plagues were brought before the Israelite were released from Egypt. Pharaoh's heart was hardened by the Lord (and this was planned by the Lord), so that the Lord can show His power, and His name will be proclaimed in all the earth.

while reading this, God tells me that, "THERE WILL BE NO SUCCESS, IF THERE WERE NO FAILURE". Non of those who success had never failed. They failed, again and again, but they never give up.

I am a person who always give up easily. ALWAYS. but, am now LEARNING to have that kind of determination that is required within a person who is yet to success. :)

I am a person who always think negatively. ALWAYS. but, am now LEARNING to be more optimistic. I LEARN, to hand my burden and worries to the Lord, MY GOD.


Amen.

Miracle

原本, 我今天的心情应该象是跌到谷地的.
很多事情都不在我能控制的范围内,一直以来都是....
昨晚,我LAPTOP的ＣＨＡＲＧＥＲ　坏了．
才晓得，没有电脑是一件非常恐怖的事．
没有了电脑发出的声音，整个房间死气沉沉．．．
没有了电脑，我真的不知道可以做什么．．．
电脑，原来也象你一样，它占据了我生活的一大部分．．
电脑，原来也象你一样，它是我不可或缺的必须品．．．
之前我还一直嫌弃它，总觉得它旧了，很慢，很多故障．．．
一直吵着要换新的．
但才一个晚上，
我却也领悟了另一番道理．

人与人之间的相处，也是同样的一种理论．
每当妈妈在唸我这，唸我那．．．
心里就觉得很烦，总想要快点离开家．．．
妈妈每天一早就爬起床为我们准备的营养早餐，
我们却常常想着要吃食堂的东西．
现在，如愿以偿了，终于晓的，
被唸着吵着，是多么幸福的．
能吃到妈妈爸爸准备的早餐，是多么幸福．
以为没有了妈妈的唠叨会轻松自在得多，
原来一片寂静的夜还比着些说不完的肺腑之言来得可怕．．．
以为可以常吃外面的食物会很享受，
每次透过ＷＥＢＣＡＭ看妹妹吃着妈妈做的面包, 才知道
原来只要是妈妈用爱来做的，都比其它在外面能吃的都来得好吃．
妈，象爸爸一样不善于表达自己,却很爱很爱这个家的我，很想认真地告诉你，我好想你,好想爸爸..


今天拿了coursework result,很想立刻回家,
但是我并没有这么做.
心里想,与其再浪费时间,不如想想我先在应该怎么做吧!
(email了那个lecturer, 知到可以重做.)
本来打算回家自己报头大哭一场,
没有要惊动你的念头,因为我怕会影响你的心情..
其实,也是因为不晓得要怎么开口吧!
直到你打来给我告诉我你的事情后,
我才说了出口.
我们一起努力吧!
做彼此的支持,互相鼓励!

(但后来回家想想,只差两分... 我要上诉.)

另一件事是电话费...
extra 21.xx pounds... is extra...
which means, despite the monthly contract fee of 21 pounds,
there's an extra 21.xx, and in total, it's 4x pounds..
hell... that's ridiculously expensive!!
well, forget about it.
钱能解决的,就不是问题了... (只限特别情况)


However, God has again, proven himself to me.
I tot i was gonna live another day without my lappie.
As Janet's bro had come to visit her,
and he is using Toshiba as well,
I tried to borrow from her.
who knows, the charger's model is different from mine and so,
I can't use it.
I prayed, I said, "God, please... let this work... please.. let this work"
it doesn't work though...
I tot.. that's all.. no other way to solve this problem.


I dun usually borrow things from ppl, who I don't really know...
and without planning how should I ask...
And, especially, smone who is so... NOISY.. (sorry)
cuz i dun like to 欠人情 to those i'm not close with.
But just now, I dunno where the strength come from...
It was so natural that... I walked out from my room,
knocked on Chen Mo's door,
(while knocking on the door, i was thinking, she might not be at home)
and someone answered, and asked me to wait for a while.
at that moment, i was thinking..
hell, do i really need to ask from her??
I was thinking to sneak back to my room,
but, that sounds so stupid,
so I just stand there,
and start to figure out how should I ask her.
before I can finish the sentence OS-ly,
she opened the door.
Words just pop out from my mouth...
and guess what..
she said: " 噢,我有一台是toshiba的!"
i was thinking.. does she mean that she has 2 laptops and she is not using the toshiba 1?
she borrowed me. I confirm with her what was in my mind, and the answer was affirmed.
HOooooooooraYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!
and I am allowed to use this charger until i get my new adapter....
yoooooohooooooooo!!!!


GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, and ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!!!!!

figuring out why was i not able to use janet's bro's charger but able to use Chen Mo's...
I borrowed from janet, i tot of this idea= without god's help.
borrow from Chen Mo, i did not plan it, and yet, that's what God wants to give me. = God planned everything....

the right thing, at the right time, at the right place, from the right person that God has chosen.

Amen.

P/S: "wish to see you soon" Actz said. :)